That One Time My "WHY" Slapped Me In The Face

Putting yourself out there can be really daunting, but sometimes focus and clarity comes in the places you least expect it. 

Until next time babe, keep pushing, keep dreaming, and let's keep on redefining fabulous.
 
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Transcript

Jessi Cabanin: 0:04

Hey girl, hey, are you ready for some real talk? If you are a female entrepreneur who has ever felt like a total failure, or maybe even a frequent flyer of imposter syndrome, this podcast is for you. I'm your host, Jesse, I'm millennial business owner, boy mom and creative genius helping women bring their business dreams to life. After 10 years of building numerous creative brands from the ground up, I'm ready to get real about what actually goes on behind the scenes of building your very own empire failure opened a brand new mindset for me. And I really want that for you too, because honestly, I am just so over society's definition of what it means to live a successful life. So together, we are going to create and navigate a version of success that works for you. Together, we can redefine fabulous. Alright, you guys, so I am super excited to talk to you today about something that happened to me recently, and it was really eye opening for me. And I hope it is for you guys, too. But so sometimes we really have to put ourselves out there somewhere that's not comfortable things that you definitely like normally would not do. I highly encourage you to jump into them. Okay. So last week, I was invited to join a small business meetup. And I was really excited about but I was also super nervous, because I'm always by myself, you know, I'm a solo entrepreneur, a solopreneur, whatever you would call that. And I am very much an introvert in general. And so I was like, Okay, I got to prepare myself to extrovert whatever. It was really great. We, you know, we met up at a restaurant. And we all sort of went around the room and said, who we were what we were working on. Some of the struggles, some of the wins, you know, which I'm a huge fan of, you know, going through the wins in the struggles. But what really stood out to me at this event was that somehow I was last I don't know, how I managed to be last. But so I was last. And of course, I had already listened to everybody and chimed in on the marketing because I can't help myself. All I want to do is help everybody. And so it comes back to me. And it's it's my turn. And you know, I'm telling everybody who I am and what I do. And I mentioned that my podcast is launching. And you know that the very first question I got was like, What made you do a podcast? Or like, what, what made that decision for you? And I think I really kind of like had to take a moment. Because I don't necessarily think I ever really pinpointed why that moment, I really had to sort of dig deep for an answer. And I if you guys know me, I am very much a like, fly by the seat of your pants kind of girl sometimes. And so I you know started to answer. But afterwards, I just I kind of was like, You know what? I'm really proud of the way I answered that. Because it really made me sort of like, dig deep, and really find the real reasons why I wanted to start this podcast. So to recap, I don't fully remember everything I said, But you know, the main thing behind everything is behind my business behind this podcast. I really want to help women entrepreneurs, I want to give them a platform to be able to get help. Because really, as women, we hate asking for help I raise your hand if you also hate asking for help. I hate asking for help. But I have come to learn that there are just times where you need to. And so I think the gist of it is that I just really want to start a conversation. Society has just created like such a unrealistic burden of like, what it means to be successful in life in business as mom and I just really want to break that stigma. I really want to create an atmosphere where women who come in here to learn about marketing their business or whatever, whichever topics they're interested in, you know, I really just want them to leave feeling that they're not alone. Like knowing that. Wow, okay, so like, I wasn't crazy when I thought XYZ you know, it's really crazy like this day and age, how much social media plays such a role in mental health and in the decisions that we make on a daily basis. And it's terrifying, honestly, because it's like, just because so and so has 10,000 followers on their Instagram, I am not worthy because I only have 100 followers on Instagram or this person is making seven figures doing less work than me. What am I doing wrong? They're way more successful than I am. And I'm just so so passionate about like breaking that stigma because, you know, I have been successful and I have failed and I know What it's like to sort of be on both sides of that. And, you know, to make a long story short, I had a six figure business, I had a business partner. And we were in the wedding industry, we had a luxury wedding stationery brand, a family of brands, really. And we were running a six figure business. And it, of course, it felt successful, because a lot of it was like, looking at us word, just like we're making six figures. And this is what society told us was like to be successful, but it didn't always feel successful. Okay. So being successful by us by society terms is a very different thing than being successful than feeling successful, like feeling good about what you're doing. And you know, long story short, we had a six figure business, and that market, that industry crashed, that everything started going digital, obviously, there were a lot of things at play, but at crashed, we lost that business in probably a year. That's how fast it fell. And to go from feeling so successful, to now feeling like a total failure. It It was eye opening, okay. And, you know, around the same time, as that company was failing, my marriage was failing, I was getting divorced. And everything in my life at that point felt like a failure. And I was in a very dark place for an extended amount of time. And in that amount of time, I spent a lot of time looking deeper. I spent a lot of time not caring about anything, but also spent a lot of time on myself and really trying to find peace and success within myself. And what came of that, obviously, was that I reinvented what my business meant to me, I reinvented what I wanted to do with my business moving forward. And you know, that was coming out of the the wedding industry completely. I'm on my way to being out of the family, and lifestyle photography, genre, I am very much in the direction of being a full blown business, the business consultant, photographer, designer, all these things, but it takes time, it takes grace, it takes failing to learn and to move forward. And so my main reason for this podcast was to be able to share some of that story and to be able to, you know, relate to people out there that like, there are a lot of things that are going to make us feel like a failure, there's a lot of things that are going to go wrong in our life. And that's okay, but the past is the past, you can't change it. But the past also teaches us what not to take into the future. And so instead of continuing my dark times of life, at that point, I decided that I was going to change the script, and I was going to focus more on the positives. And instead of failing, what did I learn from this, and I very much became a person who started questioning everything that was happening and being like, Okay, this was awesome, or okay, this was really sucky, like, but what did I learn from this? And how can I do it better next time? And how can I avoid this happening again? Okay, so the podcast idea, going back to what this was originally about, the podcast idea was to create somewhere where I could share my story where others could share their stories. And together, we can sort of redefine what it means to have a successful life, a successful business, a successful relationship to be a successful mom, whatever, it is just a redefine success. Okay, so, obviously, I dropped the fabulous word in there, so that it was still connected to my brand. So redefining fabulous is very much about redefining what it means to be successful in life. And I really wanted to create that to have a place where I could connect with like minded women who have also been through some of those struggles and help them overcome some of them in both their business and their life. And I also wanted it to become a resource so that along the way, when people approach me or when a new client comes on, and they have a question about this, or they share a story with me about how they got here, and I want to be able to have a resource to send those people so that they don't feel alone, that they can also know that I went through something similar or Jane went through something similar or whoever went through something similar and how we got out of it and how we redefined what it meant for us to be successful in life or business.So that is the overall gist of my why Okay, so I literally just developed my why I preach to everybody about knowing their why and I don't think I really knew my particular why until the moment I sat down in that meetup and was asked the question, why a podcast. So I'm highly encouraging you to go out there, meet some new people do something totally new, put yourself in a vulnerable environment. And really just kind of take it all in and take it for what it's worth, and throw a dart. See what sticks. That's it. All right, I will chat with you guys soon. Are you guys pumped? I hope you guys are just as excited as I am about this new chapter. I really want to hear from you. I want to hear your stories, your wins your losses, and I want to celebrate all of it with you because I want to remind you that you're not alone. And the struggles and the failures are only preparing you for the next chapter. And I promise you guys it is going to rock if what you're hearing is firing you up, I would be so appreciative for you to head over to Spotify or Apple podcasts or whatever your preferred platform is. And just give me a shout out tell me what you think and tell me what you want to hear more about. I would love to stay in touch with you guys. The very best place to follow me is definitely Instagram at this way to fabulous so head on over. Give me a follow slide into my DMs because I am dying to know how you guys are feeling about this new adventure. Until next time guys, keep pushing, keep dreaming and let's keep on redefining fabulous check soon guys